Life is not a Competition.

About a week ago or so--I can't recall exactly how long ago it was.

Anyway, an event happened that I believe I got a bit of wisdom out of that would benefit a lot of people, nonchristians and Christians alike.

A group of people I didn't know all that well--fairly well--were in the discussion of school dances. For some reason I ended up in the conversation and I ended up saying that I didn't plan on going to any school dances. I don't remember how I ended up saying it because it was in the natural way that things come up in conversation, either I got asked or that's how the talking drifted.

"Even your Senior Prom?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't feel like paying money to go somewhere I'm going to end up walking right of in two seconds... because of the stuff they do that isn't actually 'dancing'. If "school dances" were actually "dances" without the bad stuff I'd go."

Then someone said something that was a bit mocking of me, I can't remember what it was. Perhaps I victimized myself or mistook what they said. But the important part is that I felt that I was being mocked... and then I'd see how I'd react to it. I could have responded by getting angry, but instead I revealed the truth that it hurt me by saying

"I don't get it. I'm not trying to force anything on anyone."

Their reaction was that they felt bad about it, and no one left feeling like they'd been made fun of. Okay, maybe just a little, but I noticed something. People, including me, fear being even a little bit vulnerable. But if we'd be our true selves, and realize that life is not a competition, we'd realize that we actually do care about each other.

And instead of tension between us, there is respect.

Sure, there's been one really stinging time I'm recalling right now in my memory where I didn't join into another person's "competition of existing" and they kept going with it and I was torn up inside by it, but maybe I made a positive impact on the other person... or at least the bystanders of it.

And about the whole School Dance thing, I find other places to dance at, and I probably dance more often than people who go to School Dances, so don't feel sorry for me!

Stand up to Bullies

Today at lunch I was sexually harassed. By a stranger. A fellow student, a relative of a friend, someone I never met.

But this wasn't one of those situations where I'd be a victim who ends up feeling less powerful. No, I've had that before, this time was going to be different. I pretty much got right back in the person's face (not literally, but with my words), and I basically said that this is wrong and I wasn't afraid to tell the principal about it and get him in trouble. I also referenced a previous time that I threatened to tell on someone and that this wasn't anything that I hadn't fought against before and I wasn't going to be intimidated or afraid.

I said those words, and I got mad and left the lunch room and went to my next class 15 minutes early.

Halfway through the class period, I realized that I was really mad, rightly so, and that if I didn't forgive the person in my heart that it would rob me of my joy and ruin my day, which could turn into a week, which could turn into a month, a year, and so on. What I did was I walked to the bathroom, (our art rooms have one-person bathrooms in the art studio buildings), and I prayed that I hated what he did to me. I want nothing to do with him. It's wrong. It hurt me, and I don't plan to say "I forgive you" to his face (I'll probably never see him again and he'll probably never ask for forgiveness). So I said, "I forgive him" and I prayed that God would bless him and that he wouldn't try to do that to anyone anymore.

At the same time, I had realized that I had been sexually harassed before in my life, about once every three years or so, and that doesn't just happen randomly. No. I don't think that other people get that kind of treatment. Understand that I believe in God and Satan and Angels and Demons and I believe that they have assignments on people. Call it superstitious if you want. Could it be possible that there was an assignment against me in which evil spirits attempted to get people to treat me that way?

Know that I don't blame God or Satan for everything, a lot of things are just life. But it just can't always be random and it can't always be just life. Based on what I believe to be true, and I don't accept things at face value... I can vouch for times when someone would pray for me and it would change how people treated me or my emotions in a positive way, and some of those positive changes have stuck with me ever since those instances of praying to this day.

This, I have finally come to realize, could not be one of those things that are "just life". Not logically likely. So I also broke off all evil spirits and any assignments against me. Yeah, I believe in curses. I broke those off too, and God did. I don't know how someone can go living on Earth without believing in those things, but then again not everyone has seen and experienced what I've seen, many have seen more and many have seen less.

I hope that anyone reading this realizes that that sort of thing is wrong and no one should ever do that. And if you ever get harassed--I pray that that would never happen to anyone reading this--, but if it does happen... just get really mad, quick. Clench your fists, speak to their consciences, get away quickly, threaten to tell the authorities. If they call you a tattletale, I would not care about a creep's opinion. Don't take it. You don't have to take it.

I also find it strange that this happened at a time when I was beginning to enjoy living again. I was really happy. Demons don't like that. Now they're writhing in pain.

I've felt closer to God lately than I have in a long time. I ended up enjoying the rest of the day. We win.

Idea: Class President Campaign (drift to) too-expensive Calculators

I was thinking about thinking about running for class president next year at school. The thing is that right now we have a really solid class president which we've had for two years and I expect him to run again. I'm not sure what my campaign would be like. Maybe all I have to do is merely tell the truth about me?

I could talk about how in the lunch room last year no one could hear the lunch bell signaling the end of lunch. What happened was that every class that was after lunch had a lot of tardies, which makes sense because there was nothing to signal the end of lunch. I got a detention from those tardies, me! So, what I did was I wrote a letter to the principal about how no one could ever hear the bell at lunch, that it is good to punish people who went against the school rules, but we also needed the ability to follow them! So, I talked to the principal, and now we can hear the lunch bell and we know when the end of lunch is, a big problem solved.

Most people don't know that it was me who said something, but that's good because then I'll get a better reward for it someday, but now that I am publishing this in a blog, well I guess that I've lost the reward because I've announced the good deed like a trumpeting Pharisee.

I wonder how it works, because my real name isn't attached to this post or blog or anywhere on the Internet. Maybe I'll get half the reward. We'll find out someday, it will be fun.

So I could maybe run with a campaign that addresses issues that I'd like to see solved in our school. Like maybe let's have one of the dances be way different from the other dances. Like we could do a Swing Dance theme and (I don't know) actually play Swing Music, then maybe the school dance would be more like a (hmm...) dance! We would have to market and be clear that if you like how school dances have been, then you don't want to come this one because it will be way different. But that's not as a serious issue, though definitely important.

Another important issue is that students must do a certain amount of hours of community service in order to graduate, which I think is a great thing! (But) the problem is that students are not allowed to get started on the community service until their Junior year, and by this time, quite a number of students have jobs that take up their time. A student who is planning to work starting the Summer before his Junior Year may want to get the community service done before the end of the school year, but can't because of the rule. I believe that a rule that says "you can't start working on a graduate requirement until a certain time" is not motivating.

Maybe that doesn't seem so bad, but there are even worse results of this problem. In some other school districts, students can do their community service any time they want, as early as Ninth grade. Some students in those school districts do. Further, some of those students come to our school and discover that their community service does not count and they have to do it all over again! Some of my friends have to. My opinion is that they should at least allow students from these other school districts who've done their community service already to have it count.

Another thing I'd like to see in place is some way to ease the cost of those 100 dollar calculators. Maybe that's easy for you, but for me, I almost dropped the course because I did not want to waste money on something overpriced. I believe that the calculator makers are price-gouging. Don't believe me? Here's why. In the marked of graphing calculators, there are basically two ways to go: "Texas Instruments" and "Casio" brands. One costs more than the other. The one that the general public is most efficient in, the one that the books and teachers teach you how to use, is the one that costs most. Both calculators do the same things, just in different ways, and it can be tough to adjust if you have the one that no one else has. (Maybe) a far cry from being like Mac and PC.

Is it possible that this brand knows that it is endorsed and more needed and therefore can charge more? I suppose that my guess could be simply proven by someone who lives in an area where Casio's are endorsed and telling me which one costs more... maybe this is just me and my typical anti-high-price deal.

Anyway, back to the pointizzle. There might actually be a program in there to help to ease the cost of overpriced graphing calculators. I fortunately did not get to the point of checking that because, fortunately, a friend of mine who is a Senior did not need his calculator anymore so he gave it to me!

And that is the way our topics drift early in the evening!