Internet gets Annoying

I'm getting tired of the internet. It's gets kinda tiring when you've read an email (surprisingly only one copy) about boycotting gas on May 15, and you just want to do a blog search for the subject line of that email because you're interested in what blogs might say about it so that you can do a blog post little link-fest to a bunch of them and then you click on one of them with a new angle on the thing, read it and leave a comment, and then you click on another one and it ends up being pornographic because even though you set your Google preferences to include SafeSearch by default and for no good reason it doesn't carry over to Google BlogSearch.

So basically, I'm tired of all that coming up. It used to be fun to just peruse around, but because of the chance of that scenario happening, it's not worth it. From now on, I'm pretty much just sticking to all the stuff in my feedreader, email, and friends' sites. Really, that's what most people stick to isn't it? But what about school projects? My school subscribes to these services so I'd go to online databases.

So you know what that means? Any comments that link to something like a Blogger profile that I don't know, get deleted. I'm not even going to check anymore, because of the chance that it will be something gross, it's not worth it.

But don't worry, my bloggings will be in a better mood later... that is if I think it's worth it.

Seriously, right now, I could be getting my writings out in the form of scholarship essay contests, and there's a chance that I'll get well-needed money for school out of that. The chance of this right here helping me? Zero.

Well, the help from this blog comes in the form of catharsis. Also, I can just be like BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! randomly. I don't know if that would help in any essay contests.

Life is not a Competition.

About a week ago or so--I can't recall exactly how long ago it was.

Anyway, an event happened that I believe I got a bit of wisdom out of that would benefit a lot of people, nonchristians and Christians alike.

A group of people I didn't know all that well--fairly well--were in the discussion of school dances. For some reason I ended up in the conversation and I ended up saying that I didn't plan on going to any school dances. I don't remember how I ended up saying it because it was in the natural way that things come up in conversation, either I got asked or that's how the talking drifted.

"Even your Senior Prom?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't feel like paying money to go somewhere I'm going to end up walking right of in two seconds... because of the stuff they do that isn't actually 'dancing'. If "school dances" were actually "dances" without the bad stuff I'd go."

Then someone said something that was a bit mocking of me, I can't remember what it was. Perhaps I victimized myself or mistook what they said. But the important part is that I felt that I was being mocked... and then I'd see how I'd react to it. I could have responded by getting angry, but instead I revealed the truth that it hurt me by saying

"I don't get it. I'm not trying to force anything on anyone."

Their reaction was that they felt bad about it, and no one left feeling like they'd been made fun of. Okay, maybe just a little, but I noticed something. People, including me, fear being even a little bit vulnerable. But if we'd be our true selves, and realize that life is not a competition, we'd realize that we actually do care about each other.

And instead of tension between us, there is respect.

Sure, there's been one really stinging time I'm recalling right now in my memory where I didn't join into another person's "competition of existing" and they kept going with it and I was torn up inside by it, but maybe I made a positive impact on the other person... or at least the bystanders of it.

And about the whole School Dance thing, I find other places to dance at, and I probably dance more often than people who go to School Dances, so don't feel sorry for me!

Politically Correct

I don't want to try to always be politically correct.

What I mean is more important than the words I use. Being sincere is more important than appearing to be sincere.

That being the case, I would never intentionally be politically incorrect just to be politically incorrect. Just as I would never intentionally try to offend someone. I'm just going to try my best not to but if it ends up happening, it probably wasn't on purpose.

The danger is going too far in thought about this. Just like how sometimes I think I should not go to a store at a certain time because I think I won't be able to find a parking spot... but then I think that other people will think that and then no one will be there so I should go... but then I think that people will think that too and it will be crowded... you see where I'm going with this?

I'm just going to blog, talk, and write and be myself.

Current Seattle Mariners or Former Mariners

There is a statement that used to pass from my lips without any second thoughts, but at this very moment, it is causing me to ponder if it resembles a paradox.

"I am a Mariners fan."

Now, I still love the Mariners, but I started thinking about something. Since I love the Mariners, that means that I want them to win and the other team to lose, but here's where we come into a bit of a fix.


If the Mariners are playing a team that has more players from what used to be "the Mariners," who do I root for?

Watching baseball in recent seasons and seeing former Mariners on The Yankees' team had led me to mistakenly believe that the Yankees are currently comprised very much of the players that I cheered for when they were Mariners a few years ago. One example is John Olerud, but he isn't on the Yankees anymore.

So, the question becomes, "which is more important to me?" The players... or the name of the team they play under?

I don't recognize the players who are the Mariners now except for Ichiro, Raul Ibanez, and Jose Guillen, and it might be that I am recognizing some of them just from earlier this year.

Since other teams have many players who were former Mariners, I wonder if it is like a reunion when they play against each other, or like an Alumni game or something. The old Mariners versus the new Mariners.

So I want the Mariners to win, but which ones? I used to be completely anti-"teams that aren't the Mariners", and I never thought I would say this, so I'm going to say it in a roundabout way. Maybe I'd root for the ones that I first became a fan of.

Afterthought: If you randomly stumbled on this blog and were looking for a Mariners blog, here's one: http://marinerds.blogspot.com/

Cards and Gambling, where do you stand?

Something I love and enjoy is playing the classic card game, Poker. I like all forms of it. I can play your classic 5-draw, and, if you can refresh me of the rules, I can play a game called "Omaha Hold'em." Now, some aficionados might be saying, "It's Texas Hold'em, silly g00se!", but they are two separate "Hold'ems" and I enjoy them both. I actually haven't played Omaha Hold'em that much, only once or twice. If there was only one kind of "Hold'em", would it be necessary to say "Texas... Hold'em"?

The beauty of Texas Hold'em is that you can play it with a lot more people than you can other forms of Poker. 52 cards, after a certain amount of people, you're gonna run outta cards. Fact of life.

In this, something that I never do is bet money. For me, it is morally wrong. You can draw your own conclusions. I wouldn't play at a Casino, because then that's just saying "Goodbye" to my money even if I didn't get attached/addicted to the danger and thrill of winning.

I want to someday go to some sort of Poker tournament though. My question is "would this be bad?" I want to, by the time I'm done writing this post, develop an idea of where I stand on this.

Here is something I considered and discussed with one of my friends; Let's say a race car driver enters a race and pays an entry fee. If he wins, then he gets a monetary reward that is made up of a part of all the race car drivers' entry fees. If he loses, then he goes home with the good memory of doing something he loves, and doesn't feel like he threw his money away with the entry fee.

Now, technically, could someone say that this is gambling? Most people, I believe, would not say that, because of the fact that he's just paying money to see how his skills line up with other competitors, and then as an afterthought there's the chance that he'll win more than what he paid if he does well.

If there was a Poker Tournament, where people paid a certain fee to enter and weren't able to buy more chips as they went, very similar to the race car scenario two paragraphs ago, then would it be bad to enter? If the only difference between the race car scenario and this here Poker Scenario (Poker makes me want to talk like I'm in the Wild West), is that the skill being tested is playing cards instead of racing.

(This next sentence is pushing it) arguably, because race car driving could be more dangerous than playing cards, wouldn't there be a little more at stake in that contest than in a Poker Tournament?

Again, if the contender leave the event without taking home a prize, neither the race car driver nor the Poker player feels that he has wasted money.

Imagine with me if you will, I have a line with a dot on each end. One of the dots represents what I know to be gambling, and the other one represents what I know to not be gambling... I just have to decide where I draw my line in the gray area.

For now, I'm content with holding poker parties with my friends and defeating my College age brother and his friends when they play poker. I see your bet and I raise you 10.